The Best Christmas Present

I've always heard stories about women who didn't know they were pregnant until they started having symptoms, or they were a week late, or they felt a little "off". As someone who was religiously taking pregnancy tests every month as soon as I possibly could, I never understood these women. Not until I became one of them.

For 2 years we've been trying to have a baby. The first few months we weren't too concerned about it, I mostly went off of birth control because I thought it was making me sick, which I later found out I was sick due to my Cyclical Vomiting Syndrome. But we figured that we were ready to have a baby and if it happened it happened, if it didn't it didn't. During this time I only took pregnancy tests if I was late, or sick. I never expected a positive pregnancy test, but after a few months I got one. We were shocked, and thrilled, but it turned out to be a false positive. That really changed things for us. We didn't know how badly we had wanted this until we thought we had it. We kept trying, and after the first year we got more serious about it. I was taking ovulation tests every single month, and I never once got a positive result. Normally we would have gone to see a fertility doctor at this point, but we were in Arkansas for most of this time and we didn't want to start any fertility stuff knowing we were only there temporarily. When we got back to Arizona, I found a fertility clinic, scheduled an appointment, and spent 2 hours filling out all the paperwork. We took a deep breath and realized that this was no longer in our hands, but we were ready to take the next step.

We got settled back in Tucson, and then took off to spend time at the Ranch and in Utah for Christmas. We had a great time in Utah, we were able to celebrate Christmas with my family, see Rick's family, and spend time with friends. We left on the 23rd so we could spend Christmas Eve and Christmas with Rick's family at the ranch, and that was amazing as well. The day after Christmas we were ready to go back to Tucson. I was helping Rick's mom pick up some toys off the ground and I bent over to pick one up, stood back up, and felt like I had just completed a triathlon. I was so out of breath and had to sit down. On our drive back to Tucson I was feeling nauseous. and I told Rick he needed to pull over so I could throw up. When I got back in the car I said "My CVS has been under control for almost a year...I think I'm pregnant." We both didn't believe the words I said, just because we've thought the same thing before and it was never true. When we got back to our apartment, I had 2 pregnancy tests left from months prior and decided to take one. As I sat there holding the test in my hand staring at the 2 bright pink lines my first thought was "That's weird...why are there 2 lines? This test must be broken." It took me a good minute to realize what two lines meant. Once it hit me that this was a positive result I couldn't keep back the tears. I showed Rick and he said "I'll believe it when a Doctor tells me it's true." That brought me back to reality quickly. We had been here before with a positive pregnancy test in our hands and hope in our hearts and it turned out not to be true. We decided to take more pregnancy tests and if we got a bunch of positives then maybe it was real. Rick went to the store and came back with more tests. After the 5th positive result, he laughed, and we cried, but we still needed a Doctor to tell us it was real. I ended up taking 8 home pregnancy tests. Every single one was positive.

I found a Doctor here and made an appointment. We were able to be seen the next week. The appointment was very routine - urine test, blood work, medical history. I told my Doctor that we had a false positive home pregnancy test before and we needed to know if the blood work showed I was actually pregnant. She told me that my urine test was positive and that they wouldn't know the results of the blood test for a few days. She also looked at me like I was crazy since I had taken 8 home pregnancy tests but still doubted if I was actually pregnant. By this point my all day sickness was in high gear so I knew that either I was really pregnant or something was seriously wrong with me, but I still needed a Doctor to tell me "Yes, you are pregnant." I think Rick needed it more than I did. I hate that the false positive robbed us of that initial feeling of excitement and hope.

A few days later I called my Doctors office and asked for the results of my blood work. They told me "Everything looks great." So I said "So, I'm really pregnant?" The girl on the phone was really caught off guard by that question and said "Uhhhhhmmmm....yes" like I was a moron, but it was what we needed to hear. Finally it was real. I was really pregnant. Holy crap - we're going to have a baby.

I had an ultrasound scheduled for the next week to determine how far along I was. I thought I was 6ish weeks along, my Doctor thought I was 7ish weeks along. I was nervous going into that appointment, and I prayed there would be a heartbeat. As soon as she put the ultrasound wand on my belly that baby appeared on the screen, it wiggled, stopped, and then waved it's hand at us. We both cried, and Rick couldn't stop laughing. He was sitting by my feet and he was too far away to be able to hold my hand so he kept saying "Can I hold your feet? I need to hold you. Let me hold your feet." And he held onto my feet and we cried as we heard that strong heartbeat. She measured the baby and said "You are right on schedule - 8 weeks along." I had no idea I was that far along, and we had only found out 2 weeks earlier. Everything became even more real after that ultrasound.  We are having a baby.

We decided not to get each other anything for Christmas this year because we were going to be going to Utah. We ended up with the best Christmas present we could have ever asked for. Baby Brimhall - our Christmas Miracle.

Catching Up

I'm like 5 months behind on blogging, and in the blogging world that's like 10 years, so here is a recap of the last little while.

Arkansas - Rick lived there for 9 months, I lived there for 6 months. The whole time we were there we were living in a hotel room. I can't believe we did that. It was pretty there, but I'm glad we are back in Arizona.

We were supposed to go to Lake Powell in August for the Brimhall Family Reunion. We purchased our non-refundable plane tickets from Arkansas to Arizona, and 5 minutes later we found out that the houseboat was broken and they were canceling the reunion. We decided that we would go to Arizona and spend a few days at the Ranch, and then drive to Sea World. It's only about a 6 hour drive so it wasn't bad at all, and we had so much fun. We went with Rick's older sister Christina and her family. 

The dolphin show was amazing. Definitely my favorite part of Sea World.

I felt like I was watching the olympics while these dudes in colorful bird costumes dove into the water.

While we were there we noticed a lady at a caricature stand, and Rick wanted her to draw us. Before we sat in the chair he looked her in the eye and in all seriousness said "make sure you make my beard look awesome." He was pleased with the result.

I, on the other hand, had no idea that the feature that would make this artwork look the most like me was the gigantic beak like nose that I apparently have. So that was fun to find out about myself.

We also spent a few days at the beach where I discovered that I am awesome at boogie boarding, and where Rick and I both got stung by a jellyfish for the first time.

The next month we went to Utah to celebrate Rick's 30th Birthday. We had a pizza party at a park with a bunch of Rick's friends. It was so fun to see so many people that we love. Our friend Trish is a baker/decorator at Cupcake Chic in orem and she made some awesome cakes for us! One of them was even a vegan cake. She's amazing. Rick's favorite cake was the german chocolate that had a train on it. He was so happy about it.

Rick rented an SS Camaro while we were there. I've never seen him so happy. All in all he had a great birthday and we are both so happy we were able to spend it in Utah.

My friend Sabina lives in Provo and she has a sister that lives in Little Rock, so she came out to spend a few weeks with them. We were able to meet up a few times for dinner and we also went to the Little Rock Air Force Base to watch to air show. It was really fun, and I'm now realizing we never got a picture of the 2 of us, so you'll just have to imagine us out to dinner eating delicious pizza and at the air show watching all the different planes doing tricks. And me getting nervous every time the planes almost crashed into each other but turned away at the very last second.

For Thanksgiving we wanted to go to either Rick's parent's ranch in AZ or to my parents house in UT, but Rick didn't have the time off and we didn't have the money for more traveling. So, by nothing short of a miracle, I cooked Thanksgiving dinner for me, Rick, and our friend Ronnie who works with Rick, in our tiny hotel room using a crockpot for the turkey, the stove top for the mashed potatoes, gravy, and stuffing, and a very tiny toaster oven to cook the pie, rolls, and green bean casserole. I was sure that something would go wrong, but it all turned out delicious and was kinda fun. It was definitely a Thanksgiving to be remembered.

For Christmas this year we decided we were just going to stay in Arizona and celebrate with the 2 of us, but Rick found out that he had a weeks worth of Paid days off that he needed to use up by December 31. So we packed our bags and headed to Utah. We didn't tell anyone we were coming until we were in St. George. It was fun to be able to surprise everyone but even more fun to be able to spend time with our friends and family. We were able to see Rick's siblings and have a Christmas party with my family, plus being able to see many friends. It was a wonderful Christmas.

My parents have neighbors who breed shih-tzus, and they had 1 left that they needed to find a home for. I knew there was no way Rick would be cool with it so I didn't even bother to ask him. The next day, he knocked on the bedroom door to wake me up, then came in with the cutest little puppy with a red bow on her head and said "Merry Christmas!" I totally thought he was kidding for like 30 seconds, but when I realized he wasn't, I was so so so happy. We named her Maya because we got her on December 21, 2012 - the day of the end of the Mayan calendar. So far she has been the best little puppy. She and Rick are asleep next to each other on the floor right now. We love her. I think this year was our best Christmas so far.

On New Years Eve we stayed home, watched Saturday Night Live, drank sparkling cider, and drifted off to sleep listening to the sounds of fireworks and/or gunshots outside. My goals for 2013 are to do well in school, be happy and healthy, and never ever live in Arkansas again. So far we're off to a good start.

Back

In the Railroad world, when you get "bumped" it means that someone with more seniority than you took your job, and you have to put yourself on another job. This usually happens when the management cuts jobs, so instead of having 20 people on a specific assignment, they will cut 10, and so 10 people need to find another job to work. Hence, they have to bump 10 other people, etc. Rick kept getting bumped and was unable to work for 5 days. We decided that our time in Arkansas was up and it was time to go back to Arizona. As soon as we made the decision that we were really done, I couldn't get out of that place fast enough. We got packed up and left the next day. We didn't even have an apartment to go to in Arizona, but that wasn't gonna stop us.

Since we bought a car earlier this year, we had to drive 2 cars back separately. Rick always talks about how when he goes on long road trips by himself he will end up talking to himself. I always thought he was crazy until I had to drive by myself through Texas. Texas was a real B-word to drive through, and I was the only person I had to talk to. Luckily I'm good company. Halfway through our trip Rick was able to find us an apartment in Tucson. We pulled up to the apartments right as they were closing and were barely able to get the paperwork signed and get our keys. We unloaded all the stuff from our cars and then went to a nearby hotel and passed out. The next day we were able to go to our storage unit to get the rest of the stuff we needed. I really love our apartment, but I also love that we don't live in the middle of nowhere like we did in Arizona City. We got a really small 1 bedroom apartment, but compared to the hotel room, it's humongous. Except somehow my kitchen is smaller than the one in the hotel, but this one has an oven so I'm happy with it.

We've been back for about a week, and we've already been able to spend time with my nanny family, Rick's brother and his family in Phoenix. and go see the Christmas lights at the Mesa temple. It feels good to be back, and I really hope that this time goes a lot better than the last time we moved to Tucson.

Eye Doctor

I have the best story.

But first, a shout out. I had been hating the way my blog looked for a while. So I decided to fix it, but instead I ruined everything and it looked awful. I hated all the free blog backgrounds I saw online that either had too much going on and it made me nauseous to look at or it looked fine but was bombarded by the gigantic logo of whoever made the blog. I had remembered that a friend from High School started a little company where she designs blogs. I decided to have her design it for me and I totally love how it turned out. It's simple and clean and she was able to fix the problem I was having with my pictures. Her name is Erika and you can go to her website by clicking HERE. She even has free backgrounds and Facebook cover photos you can use. By the way, she didn't ask me to say anything about it and I don't think she knows I'm doing this because I don't know if she reads my blog, but I really was impressed with how she made it look exactly how I wanted it.

So back to my story...

I needed new contacts and Rick needed new glasses so we made an appointment to see the eye doctor. While we were there Rick asked if he would ever be able to wear contacts. He has always been told that his astigmatisms were too bad for contacts but whenever we go to the eye doctor he will ask to see if they've invented contacts yet for eyes as bad as his. And guess what? They have. The Doctor said that he will likely never be a candidate for lasik eye surgery, but he could definitely wear contacts. His eyes are so bad that they didn't have any samples for his prescription and astigmatisms but they would order some. So we left and a week later they called us and said that the samples had arrived. Since he had never worn contacts before, they said that they would be putting them in and taking them out for him. He agreed, and he seriously was a champion about it. When I first got contacts they asked if I wanted them to put them in for me and what I said was "No, I'll try it" but what I meant was "If anyone touches my eyeballs except for me I will freak out, punch them in the face, and then throw up." He sat still the entire time but he kept making a face that was making me laugh and then it was making him laugh and then it was making it a lot harder for the lady putting in his contacts.

I probably shouldn't have been in the room with them because I'm sure I was making things harder. But how can you watch what I watched and not laugh?

He wore the contacts for a while but one of them was really bugging him and was really blurry. They are going to order another pair of trial contacts for him with a different prescription and we are waiting for them to call us so he can go try them. He really wants to be able to wear contacts, but he's also nervous that he will look weird without glasses. I laughed when he said that because that's like saying "I think I'll look weird with my braces off, better keep 'em on." But he has been wearing glasses for the past 25 years so it makes sense. A different girl took the contacts out for him, and I had the horror of watching it up close. It was one of those things where you were so disgusted but you couldn't look away. Like looking at roadkill or a dog eating it's own poop. She couldn't grasp the contact lens so she kept trying to squeeze it over and over, and I was watching his eyeball bounce around. Rick sat there stiff as a board and I nearly fainted. I'm usually pretty good about handling gross things but now I know  2 things I can't deal with - spit and eyeballs.

We decided that he still should get a new pair of glasses to keep as a back up if the contacts do work out because the glasses he has now are super beat up. We walked out of the doctors office and into the glasses shop and Rick went to talk to someone so he could order the glasses he wanted. I sat down in a chair that was right by one of those spinning things with glasses on them that was right by the door. If someone walked in they wouldn't have been able to see me unless they looked around the spinning glasses display. I set my purse on my lap and started to play with my phone while I waited for Rick. I heard the bell that meant that someone had just walked into the shop, but I didn't look up from my phone. The lady who walked in walked immediately to her left so she wouldn't be in the way of anyone else coming in or out of the doors. She was standing with her back facing me, to the right of me right by my knees, and really close to me, almost touching. I felt a pressure on my leg and looked up to see that she was touching my purse that was on my knee. I looked up at her and then I saw that in her other hand she had a walking stick. She was blind. I don't think she was totally blind, because she had really thick glasses on and because later we made eye contact, but still, she was blind. My purse is made of a plastic-ish material so I'm sure she was trying to figure out what the heck it was. Because her back was facing me she had no idea that I was there. I figured that if I moved my purse to the ground and adjusted myself she would figure out what was up. But I was wrong. For one split second she removed her hand from my purse, and that is when I made the move to put it on the ground. After that she went back looking for it. She lightly put her fingers right on my knee. I wasn't sure what to do at this point, and I looked up at a lady who was sitting across the room from me and we just both looked at each other like "uuuuhhhhhhhh". Then it happened, and it happened so fast that I couldn't stop it. She put more pressure on her fingers and quickly ran them up my leg. By the time she made it to mid-thigh, she realized what was happening. She quickly withdrew her hand then then turned and looked at me and said "Oh my goodness....I am so sorry!"

She kept apologizing and I kept reassuring her that it was okay and I'm sure it was just as embarrassing for her as it was for me, if not more, but really I was just thinking "where the hell is Rick?!" A nice gentlemen moved his chair out for her to sit in but she didn't want to move to sit in it, she wanted to sit where she was standing, right by my legs. She sat down and he came and sat in the chair next to me and no matter how I sat I was touching both of them. I had had enough physical contact with strangers for one day and I started to panic wondering where Rick was. He finally appeared and looked at me like "why are you sitting so close to both of those people when there are 10 other empty chairs in this room?" And I looked at him like "help me!" I had to step over the lady's legs to get out from this little corner I was trapped in, and as soon as we made it out the door and down the hallway I had to sit down from laughing while I told him what had just happened to me.

Whenever they call us to tell us his contacts are ready, he's going back by himself.

Why I'm Divorcing Rick

Okay, not really, but last night Rick did something that made me angrier at him than I've ever been.

It was 4:00 in the morning. We were both in a dead sleep. Normally when he sleep talks it's quiet and he moves around beforehand so I know it's coming. This was loud, and sudden, so I knew he wasn't sleep talking.

"Woah! What is that?" He sounded scared. I was instantly awake and my heart was pounding. I thought someone or something was in the room with us.

"Rick?"

"WHAT IS THAT?!" He screamed in sheer terror. I've never heard him scream like that before, and I just knew we were about to be murdered.

"WHAT?! RICK?!?!" I have never heard myself scream like that either. I hoped that we were both at least screaming loud enough to wake someone up and have them call 911. If the paramedics got there fast enough maybe we would survive whatever was about to happen to us. Tears were streaming down my fear stricken face. I was grabbing Rick's shoulder and shaking him violently, waiting for something to happen.

Then, he laughed.

"Rick?"

"What?"

"What just happened?"

"Oh, boys and girls are just different about this kinda stuff."

Now I'm not scared. Now I'm pissed. I continued to shake him and call his name. Usually I can just say his name or give him a slight nudge and he'll snap out of it. This time he just wouldn't wake up. He kept coming in and out of sleep. I tried explaining to him over and over what had happened, and he kept forgetting it. It was like he was coming off of anesthesia. I laid in bed until 4:30 when we had to get up and take a friend to the airport. Once he was up and awake, I asked him what he had dreamed about, he said "trains, probably" but he couldn't remember anything about his dream, I asked him if he remembered what happened or if he remembered us screaming, he didn't. Normally his sleep talking lines up with his dreams and he remembers it.

And on Halloween of all days.