Life lessons learned while sleeping in a parking lot in Vegas

Last week we went up to Utah for 3 days. I got to meet my new niece, spend time with (almost) all of my favorite people, help Rick with some photo shoots, and I ate like 500 cupcakes. We left late Sunday night because we never learn because we wanted to stay as late as we possibly could and then Rick had to hurry back for work. We said we would take turns driving. We never do. He always drives. I don't make him, he just likes driving or thinks I'm going to kill us or something. One time when we were driving from Arizona to Utah he pulled over in Mona because he couldn't drive anymore and I drove from there. Do you know where Mona is? Its like 30 miles from Provo. That's all I contributed to that roadtrip.

When we made it to Vegas we were both struggling to stay awake. We decided to find a place to sleep. We called a hotel and asked about rates but we were only going to be sleeping for 2-3 hours because Rick was on a strict time schedule and we decided it wasn't worth it to get a hotel room. So we pulled into a Flying J's parking lot and as I was laying there listening to the sound of Rick snoring and smelling the sweet smell of diesel fumes, I reflected on the days we spent in Utah and all of a sudden I was hit by an intense, sad and somewhat surprising reality.

I am not meant to live in Utah. 

I do not feel comfortable there. And it's not just because there are 4 billion college students there and construction on every road in Utah County (the freeway splitting on our way to and from Salt Lake - what is that?! who the hell thought that was a good idea?) I feel like if you live in Utah you are on one side or the other as far as political/religious beliefs. Everybody has their guard up because they're going to be attacked and need to be ready to fight back at any moment (ESPECIALLY during the political season, my gosh). And you constantly have to defend your beliefs, whatever they are, and everyone is always getting their feelings hurt, and everyone is a victim, and nobody ever wins. Because of some of our friends and family members, I felt like I was constantly defending both sides, because I don't view things as black and white. I live in the grey, and because of this I was caught in the cross fire. It was so exhausting.

Last night we had a pool party/BBQ with a bunch of our neighbors. When one of our neighbors found out we were from Utah she asked if we were Mormon. My insides churned, not because I am ashamed of what I believe, but because I was having such a nice time and really didn't want to have to defend or argue my beliefs or worry about hurting someone's feelings. We told her yes, we are Mormon. She said "Well then we'll keep the beer away from you! You Mormons really know how to build beautiful buildings. Have you seen the temple here? Or the one in Los Angeles? They are so beautiful!" And then throughout the night she asked us questions about the church, and not "so why do you hate gays?" or "why are you racist?" but "so how does the Priesthood work?" and "what does the oil do when you give blessings?" It was a breath of fresh air. I wanted to keep talking, I wanted to tell her more, and I wanted to go home and read and do my research to make sure I was answering all her questions correctly. I've never experienced that kind of conversation in Utah.

I like Arizona. Even the first few months when things were really hard I still liked it. There was a time about 2 months ago where I still didn't have a job and Rick found out that the railroad was starting to lay people off again, and he would be laid off soon. We panicked. We were barely surviving as it was and were already so behind and we could not live without his job. We seriously considered moving back to Utah, and starting all over. Again. Rick knew he could get his old job back at the Hospital. Between all of our family there we knew we could stay with someone until we got back up on our feet. We prayed and fasted and cried and had no idea what to do. And then I found Chad and Christy, and they hired me. And then Rick found out that if he transferred to the Phoenix yard, he would be able to hold there because they needed people because nobody likes working in Phoenix (because it is 400 degrees). And he's been in Phoenix ever since, and I've been working ever since, and we are still behind and still struggling and I still hate not being able to see my guy every day, but we're blooming where we're planted, and we're learning and growing and we know this is where we need to be.

The night we got home we laid in bed and talked about it. I was very sad to have come to this realization and was so glad to have Rick there with me (even though later that night when we were both dead asleep he elbowed me HARD in the nose and then every time I moved after that he would wake up frantically and put his hand on my head and say "sorry 'bout yo face"). We talked about the things we liked and would miss about Utah, and about the things we were going to have to get used to in Arizona. Although there are some things I don't think I will ever get used to. Things like...

• Africanized Honey Bees. Also known as Killer Bees. Super mean, super scary. A few months ago one of them got into our apartment and kept bumping aggressively into Rick. He finally caught it and let it outside. The next day we went to leave and it was by our car and anytime we got near the car it would chase us. It took us 20 minutes to get into our car. If you kill one of these bees they let off some kind of scent or something to let the other bees know what's up and then you will get swarmed. And die. Like on My Girl. Did anybody else sob during Thomas' funeral when Vada was crying saying Thomas needed his glasses? No? Just Rick? Okay.
• Sewer Roaches. They come up from your drains and hang out in your bathtub. Kill myself.
• "If you need to use the bathroom in the middle of the night just put your flip flops on in case you step on a scorpion." Kill myself twice.
• These really big really loud beetles that hang out in the trees and you'll be outside thinking "man, those power lines are really loud" and then you realize you are no where near the power lines.

So now that I know we're here to stay and now that you all know about the wonderful Arizona insects, it's time for people to start coming to visit us. We even have a couch that is almost big enough for one person. Any takers?