One Year

On St. Patrick's Day Rick and I realized that we had made the move from Provo to Tucson exactly one year ago that day. When we made the move on St. Patrick's day 2011 our truck broke down, we were averaging 9 miles per gallon and it took us 2 days to get there. This year for St. Patrick's Day we spent the night with my nanny boys while Chad and Christy went on a weekend getaway. That night there was a horrible wind storm knocking over everything outside and keeping me awake until 2:30 am. At 3:00 am the 2 little boys came into the bedroom to wake us up for the day. I put them back to bed and at 3:30 we were all asleep again until 5:50 when they woke us up for good. Rick and I decided to take turns napping while the other stayed up with the boys but then Rick got called to work and had to leave right away. The only other things I remember about that day were bathing the boys after lunch because they had made a huge mess, the 2 year old crying and when I went to find him he had stepped in a fresh pile of dog crap that was on the carpet, giving him another bath, putting them down for a nap and then cleaning up the poop. I have never in my life had more respect for stay at home Moms/Dads.

I guess we don't have that "Irish Luck" that everybody talks about.

This year that we've been in Arizona has been full of changes. It seems we finally got into a regular routine of things and now we've got some more changes coming our way, but these ones are good.

Rick put in a bid for a borrow out in Little Rock, Arkansas. A borrow out is what happens when a place is desperate for workers and they bring them in from different areas of the country to work for them temporarily. They take you based off of seniority. Rick got the job and will leave on Saturday. They require you to be there for a minimum of 90 days, after that you have the option to leave but if you want to stay longer you can as long as they have work for you to do. Every 26 days they will fly you home for 4 days, so I'll at least get to see him once a month. We had taken time off of work and scheduled to go to Disneyland/Sea World for our anniversary in May but instead I will be going out to Arkansas for that week. We realized that so far we have been in a different state for each of our anniversaries - 1st was Utah, 2nd was Arizona, and now 3rd will be Arkansas. And thus, a tradition has been born.

I will stay in Arizona and work while he's in Arkansas. A few months ago I felt the urge to go back to school. So I did. I'm currently enrolled at University of Phoenix doing the online Associates Elementary Education program. Let me just take a minute to talk about how much I love technology. I take my laptop with me to work and when the boys are napping I can do my homework. I can also do it from my iPhone. I went to Utah 3 weeks ago and while I was sitting in the airport waiting for my flight I was getting my participation points in for the week. It's hard and it's a lot of work, but it's convenient. So with working and school I think I'll be able to keep myself pretty busy while Rick is gone.

Lastly, I finally went to see a GI specialist after 7 years of nausea and vomiting that was getting worse, happening more frequently and lasting longer. Last year I had an abdominal ultrasound done and a HIDA scan done to make sure all my insides looked normal and to make sure my gallbladder was functioning properly. Everything looked good, which I know normally you would want to hear but I was getting sick of Doctors telling me I was fine and that "everything looks great!" or "sometimes we just throw up and we don't know why" because that didn't leave me with any answers. I had been leaving a bucket in my car so that I can throw up while I drive to work. That doesn't tell me that I'm fine. When I went to the ER last year the Doctor diagnosed me with Acid Reflux/GERD. When I went home and looked it up online the only symptom of GERD that I had was nausea and vomiting. She gave me an antacid but it didn't do anything for me. I've had a few Doctors give me prescriptions for Zofran which helps tremendously with the nausea, but again, it doesn't give me any answers it just covers up the symptoms. While we were sitting in the waiting room of the GI Doctor's office I was wondering if I would get any answers, or what if this was somehow all in my head? She called us back to the room and as I was telling her my symptoms she started asking me a lot of questions.

Does this have a pattern? It didn't used to but now it happens monthly. Like clockwork.
How do you feel in between cycles of nausea and vomiting? Completely fine.
Do you get headaches when you get these flare ups? I didn't used to but over the last few months I have been getting them.
How long does the nausea and vomiting last? 4-7 days.
Are you tired when this happens? Ex-freaking-hausted.
What is the pattern of your flare ups? Wake up, barf, barf throughout the day, feel better by night time, eat.
When did this start? When I was 16.
Have you been to the Hospital for this? Yes, I went to the ER once.
Did they do blood work? Yes. It all came back normal.


She sat in silence for a few minutes typing away at her computer before she turned to me and said -

"It sounds like you have Cyclic Vomiting Syndrome. Technically there is no way to officially diagnose anyone with this disease, but enough people have all the same symptoms that we can call it a disease. There is no way to test for it. The diseases that kill people are the ones that get all the attention and research, so the good news is that this isn't going to kill you, but since we don't know exactly what it is or what causes it there is no cure for it. You can go home and do some research online but you won't find much."

I was relieved just to have some validation and someone to tell me it wasn't all in my head - this is a real thing. She then said that there are some treatment options that I could try if I liked. She gave me a prescription that other people with CVS have had success with and then, of course, gave me Zofran for when the cycle hits. I decided to try the medication just to see how I felt on it and if I noticed a difference I would keep taking it and if not then I would stop talking it and just be happy I had an answer. When we got home I looked up CVS and I had every single symptom. After that I started taking the medication and it has given me instant relief. The weird part is that now when I wake up, I'm hungry. I don't remember a time in my life when I woke up and wanted to eat. I never eat breakfast, and I never did as a kid. The thought of eating in the morning made me nauseous. I understand now why people say breakfast is the most important meal of the day, because if I don't eat it, I'll probably kill you if you get in my way.

I have not thrown up or been nauseous one time in the last 44 days.

Miracle.

False Hopes

I've debated over whether or not I should blog about this, there are pros and cons to doing it, and even though I don't really want to, I realized that if what happened to me happened to someone else that I know and I didn't tell them about my experience, I would feel guilty. This is preventable. So, here we go. This is one of those TMI blog posts where I talk about girl stuff. Be warned.

Not long ago I was 4 days late, and nauseous. I took a pregnancy test one morning. I waited the 3 minutes it said to wait and then I read the test. It was positive. This wasn't a test that had the plus or negative sign on it, it was an electronic one that said the word "PREGNANT" on it. I was thrilled. I screamed for Rick. I showed him the test. We laughed and hugged and cried and laughed some more. Pregnant!

We had a busy day ahead of us. We had to hurry and get ready and meet a friend for lunch in Phoenix and then go shopping afterward. I wanted to take another test but we didn't have time, so we left. We finished our lunch and then went to Ikea. While we were walking around in the magical land of duvet covers and kitchen appliances, my back started to ache. The pain got worse as we continued to walk around. We bought our stuff and left. We went to Rick's brothers house to visit and while we were there I felt better. We all needed some stuff so we decided to go to Costco. While we were walking around Costco the back pain came back but I also started having cramps. I was getting a little worried because I didn't know if that was normal but I told myself that as long as I wasn't bleeding I would be okay. After Costco we went to get some food to take to my Sister-in-Law, Megann, who was on her lunch break. While we were at the sandwich shop getting our food I went to the bathroom and I saw blood. My heart stopped. I had no idea what to do. Luckily, we were about to go visit Megann who works at the Hospital in the ER.

When we got to the Hospital I went to the bathroom again and there was a lot more blood, and the cramps were much worse. When I saw Megann I pulled her aside, told her what was going on, and asked her if I should check in since we were already at the Emergency Room. She said that to be safe I probably should. Because she works at the Hospital she was able to get me the VIP treatment. Bless her for that. Each time I told a Dr./Nurse/Tech what was happening I would cry. I knew I had a family history of miscarriages, fertility issues, PCOS, and ovarian cysts. The odds that this baby would be okay were not in my favor. I was scared.

The Doctor ordered a urine test, blood test, and ultrasound. Once those were done it was just a waiting game. 3 hours later the Physicians Assistant came back with my results.

"We got your blood work back. Everything looks normal. Your blood type is O+ which is good to know for when you really do get pregnant. Your pregnancy test was negative. You're not pregnant. My guess is you're just starting your period."

I was in absolute shock. Not pregnant? How could that happen? I told him that my home pregnancy test was positive. He said I must have been given a false positive, or I read the test wrong. I asked him what would cause a false positive and he didn't know. He left and I cried and cried. Not pregnant?

The Doctor came in to go over my results with me more in depth. He basically said the same thing. I asked him what causes a false positive and he couldn't tell me either. He said I probably read the test wrong. I DIDN'T READ THE TEST WRONG. Here is a picture of the test right after I took it.

I didn't read it wrong.

I was in shock and I just wanted to go home. I was sad and frustrated and embarrassed that I was that idiot girl who went to the ER cause she was on her period. I went from thinking I was pregnant to thinking I was miscarrying to learning I was neither in a 10 hour period.

When we got home I researched false positives. Nothing gave me an answer. It told me that false positives are extremely rare and only happen under the following conditions:

1. You've recently had an abortion or miscarriage and have leftover HCG hormone in your body - that wasn't the case for me, this would have been my first pregnancy.

2. You read the test wrong - I DIDN'T.

3. The test was expired - I checked the box and the test expires in April of 2013.

4. You're on certain medications - I'm not on any.

None of those fit me. And nothing made sense. I was still so sad and so confused. I decided to research by the brand of pregnancy test that I used - clear blue. And that is when I hit the jackpot.

DON'T EVER BUY A CLEAR BLUE PREGNANCY TEST!

They are faulty and have been giving women false positives for years. One woman had a similar experience as me. She got a positive result, made an appointment with her OBGYN, and while she was there she learned she wasn't pregnant. One woman and her husband had been trying to get pregnant for SEVEN YEARS and she got a false positive. Can you imagine?

A false positive pregnancy test isn't like getting a false positive strep test where you just accidentally take antibiotics when you don't need to. This is thinking that you're going to bring another human into this world. This is thinking that you're going to become parents. A pregnancy is a big deal! I spent 3 hours in the ER and am now awaiting the bill from the Hospital because a $12 pregnancy test failed me. Don't ever buy a Clear Blue pregnancy test.

So...I ate all of your Halloween candy

So...Halloween was a bust this year. Normally I make us dress up and do something but we had no where to go so no reason to dress up. Rick was supposed to work and I had the day off so I was going to just stay at home and pass out candy, which didn't happen because we didn't get a single trick or treater. Rick ended up getting bumped from the Tucson yard and can only hold in Phoenix now so his schedule is different (again) but that meant we suddenly had Halloween off together. Rick wanted to "do something really fun!" so I got my eyebrows waxed and then we went home and he fell asleep at 8. I'm kind of worried about him. I make fun of him for sleeping so much and I say it's because of his old age but he seriously is tired all the time. He was taking this cholesterol medication and it was making him super sore and restless and then he read the side affects and it said that if he was sore he needed to stop taking it immediately, so he stopped but ever since then he sleeps all the time. Like right now, I'm not even kidding, he is asleep in his car in a Del Taco parking lot because he was too tired to drive home. I can't remember the last time he drove home from work without stopping to sleep. We should probably get that checked out...

So...I love my job. Like, love it more than any job I've ever had. I love those little boys. Last week was rough because the 2 youngest boys and I all had colds so we were pretty miserable. They are comfortable around me now and I've got their routine down (seriously, routine is key, I can't believe how easy they are.) The 2 youngest ones are learning my name. Sloan (age 1) has said it once, probably on accident, and Cael (age 2) finally starting saying "dough" when I asked him what my name was and now he says dough-ey. Close enough. Last week Christy said "I swear Sloan could be Rick's kid." I asked her why and that's when she showed me pictures of Sloan sleep crawling throughout the whole house in the middle of the night. Then she wished me luck for whenever we have kids.

So...A few weeks ago we were driving home and right across from our place is a big open area with nothing but dirt, rocks, and big scary dogs. I only saw them at a glance before they were gone but I was like "uhhhh....are those werewolves?" Rick says they are just big homeless dogs. I don't know what they are but every night when I come home from work and it's pitch black outside I get out of my car and all I can hear are howls closing in on me. It is the most terrifying thing. I swear they are chupacabras or something. One time I heard them fighting. They howl and bark and scream all night long.

So...Yesterday everyone kept saying to prepare for a big dust storm (the kind that causes 30 care pile ups). I know what to do to prepare for when it rains or snows, but really what do you do to prepare for a dust storm other than not go outside? The city that we live in got it worse than everywhere else, and you couldn't see through it. It made me sick all night. I could feel the dust in my lungs and I couldn't stop coughing it up. Sickest thing ever. During the dust storm, it started raining. My car looks like I drove it through a field of mud. The wind was so bad last night that I woke up to the windows shaking and for a minute I thought there was an earthquake. I was not prepared for this type of weather.

So...Rick bought his car a few years ago while he was living in Arizona, so while we were living in Utah his car had an Arizona license plate. He was going to switch it to Utah (because he had to) but the tint wasn't legal in Utah and he would've had to remove it and we would've had to pay the taxes on his car which was like $700 and it wasn't worth it especially knowing that we'd move to Arizona someday and we'd have to switch it back anyway. So he tactfully (and lets be real, illegally) kept his car registered in Arizona for the 3 years he lived in Utah. Then we moved here, and we knew we were going to have to get my car registered in Arizona, but we thought that we'd have to pay a million dollars for the taxes on it. We held out as long as we could, but my registration expired this month. We went to the DMV on Halloween just to figure out what we needed to do. We went up to the lady at the help desk and told her we had just moved to Arizona City and we needed to figure out what paper work we needed to get in order to get it registered in Arizona. She looked at us like we were morons.

"Uhhhh....do you have the registration?"
"Yeah."
"Okay then, pick a number and have a seat."
"Okay but what else do we need. The car has a loan on it through a bank in Utah, do you need the paperwork for that? And where is the closest place to get the emissions done? And do we have to pay the taxes on the vehicle?
"No. You just need the current registration, you don't have to pay the taxes on your car, and this is Pinal County, we don't do emissions here."

We looked at her like she was lying.

"You guys aren't from here, are you? All you need is the current registration. Pick a number and someone will help you."

So...We picked a number and sat down knowing she was wrong. But at least whoever helped us next would be able to tell us what exactly we needed to do. We only waited for about 20 minutes when our number was called. We sat down and Rick explained to the lady that we needed to switch the registration from Utah to Arizona. She asked for the current registration and began typing away at her computer. Rick started getting nervous. He asked how much we had to pay for taxes on the vehicle and where we could get the emissions done. For the second time that day, we got the "are you stupid?" look from someone at the DMV. She told us that's not how it works in Arizona. She gave me my new license plate, new registration, asked me if I wanted it to expire in 1 year or 2 years (you can pick!?!?) and then said the grand total was 30 bucks. And all of this in under 30 minutes. We felt like we had just robbed the place. Arizona knows how to get it done! Also my drivers license doesn't expire until the year 2053. I asked her why they do it that way (I was more thanking her than asking her) and she said that you have to come in every 12 years to get your picture changed and eyes tested but other than that having people come in more often would be a waste of time. Bless you, Arizona. I went home and took off my Utah plates, which was kind of sad, and replaced them with my AZ plates, and ever since we switched from Utah plates to AZ plates, people don't flip us off while we're driving anymore. That is 75% a joke but 25% the absolute truth.

So...I've recently discovered Pinterest. For those of you who don't know, its basically a website full of google images that can give you ideas for crafts, recipes, hairstyles, clothes, FHE activities, decorations, funny sayings, etc. and you can organize your "pins" however you want. There are some really good ideas on there, or funny things.

I showed this to Rick and he said "no kidding." We aren't allowed to discuss anything important if I haven't been fed. Things can get really ugly really fast.

I came home from work last night pretty mad for no reason at all. Rick told me to take a nap, so I did, and then I woke up and got onto Pinterest and saw this.

 She's only 8 but she's got it all figured out.

There are also some things on Pinterest that I see and think "that is the dumbest thing I've ever seen in my life." For example:

Are you serious? The only thing not pictured are her 500 cats.

So...I saw this and thought it was hilarious and I hope you find it as funny as I did.

The Pill

When I was a teenager I found out I have an ovarian cyst. The Doctor said that the best thing to help it would be for me to start taking the birth control pill, so I did. My Doctor told me that sometimes women taking birth control feel symptoms of pregnancy so if that happened to me it was normal. Immediately after starting it I was nauseous all the time and had morning sickness. After a while I kind of got used to it, and I knew that I felt way better on the pill than I had before so I thought it was a fair deal and I'd just deal with the sickness. The morning sickness would go away for months and then come back and hit me hard for about a week and then go away again. This started to get annoying but I still thought nothing of it, and then we got married and staying on birth control was the plan until we decide to have kids. When we went to Lake Powell for the first time last year I was super excited until we got there and I was sick as a dog the entire time. If I wasn't sleeping I was trying my hardest not to barf. When we came back I decided to stop taking it because I was so sick of being sick. A year goes by and turns out I'm still sick. One trip to the ER, one abdominal ultrasound, and one HIDA scan later nobody knows what's wrong with me or why I'm sick all the time but it wasn't the pill. So I start taking it again, only this time my Doctor gives me a different pill than the one I was used to for like 6 years, and now nausea and morning sickness brought a friend named hypersensitive tear ducts. Here's a list of things I've cried at since starting the new pill.

• A Bank of America commercial.
• The last 5 minutes of Spy Kids.
• The entire 2 hour premier of Grey's Anatomy.
• The movie "A Little Princess" but really who doesn't cry at that?
• The kindness of strangers - On two different occasions I went to Walmart at night to just get 1 item. I would stand in line and the first time in front of me was a family with a full shopping cart. The dad turned to me and said "Since you only have 1 thing would you like to go first? Ours will take a while." The second time it was the same scenario only it was a few teenage girls with a full shopping cart and they said the same thing. People here are so nice.
• When Rick comes with me to work and cleans up dinner and vacuums while I'm bathing the boys.
• When Rick comes with me to work and says "Sloan, can I hold you? How come I just want to hold you all the time?"
• When Rick leaves me in Tucson to go work in Phoenix for a week.
• When Rick comes back for the weekend and I have to share a bed with him again.
• The Documentary "A Pixar Story."
• The Phantom of the Opera.
• When the Phantom sings about how he thinks he's a hideous monster.
• When I put my ipod on shuffle and 2 Disney songs played in a row.
• When I barfed up a Western Bacon Cheeseburger, large fries, and Dr. Pepper from Carls Jr.
• When our water got shut off this morning because our landlord hasn't been paying his HOA fees and Chad and Christy said I could take showers at their house. I don't know what I'd do without them.
• Writing that last sentence. (Seriously? This is getting out of hand.)
• The idea that we are moving soon and I have to pack up all of our crap without Rick here to help me.
• Realizing that we're going to end up in Phoenix eventually and I really hate that place.
• Not being able to get Rick anything for his birthday or spend his birthday with him.

Anybody got any tissues? Cause I'm gonna need them.

Just To Make Mom Happy

My mom told me that she checks my blog for an update everyday. I don't know why she would, she's just going to be disappointed. But she wants an update. Okay, Mom, just for you, here is an update on our life.

I still don't have a job and it's still too hot to go outside.

We lead a fascinating life.

Actually, a few interesting things have happened lately. I had a near death experience this week - our internet broke. No TV, no Internet, no Netflix, and it happened on the same day that we sold our smart phones and switched back to our old phones to save money, so I couldn't even use my phone to be connected to the world. It was terrifying. I told myself I'd stay busy with cleaning and running errands and that took like an hour total.

Luckily, my Sister-In-Law had loaned me the first Twilight book. I hadn't read them before, and I saw the 2nd movie on accident. I'm not really big into fantasy-type books. Like I only made it to the 3rd Harry Potter book. And I probably shouldn't even say that, I know that HP is a touchy subject these days. Rick is worse about it than me, though. We got tickets to the midnight showing of the 6th movie and we met up with friends and we were standing in line waiting when Rick loudly said "so, which one is Voldemort again?" And everyone froze. I'm pretty sure I heard someone hiss at us, too. So I didn't have much hope for the Twilight books but no internet, remember? So I started reading it, and then 5 hours later I was done. And then I went to the store and bought the next 2 books and all the movies, and I would read one book a day and then watch the movie. And now I'm obsessed. And I'm definitely on Team Edward. I think Edward is the best for Bella, and I definitely think that Bella is totally crazy and weird. And I think that I might give Harry Potter another try. I'm a changed woman.

Rick also had a life changing week. He got food poisoning. He had to call off work twice and he can't call off more than that without losing his monthly guarantee. A few days ago someone from the ward called and asked if Rick could give the closing prayer in Sacrament Meeting today. As Sacrament Meeting was finishing up, Rick nervously leaned over to me and whispered "what if they didn't really call me? I was so out of it when they called, what if I'm remembering it wrong? Or what if they just say Brother Brimhall? What if the other Brother Brimhall in the ward gets up?" I told him to calm down and that they won't just say Brother Brimhall, they will say Brother Rick Brimhall. He took a deep breath. A few minutes later he leaned over to me again and said with much panic in his voice "I forgot how to pray. What do I say? How do I do it?!" I didn't have time to answer his question because I was laughing, and then the First Counselor got up there and announced who the last speaker would be, what the closing song would be, and that "Brother Randy Brimhall will be giving the closing prayer." Rick froze. I laughed harder. His palms started sweating and his breathing was shallow. I told him to calm down, they were calling him and not the other Brother Brimhall, to listen to the spirit, and to just keep it simple. He kept it simple enough by saying "we're so Thankful.....for everyone.....and everything." Attaboy. After Sacrament Meeting he asked for a Priesthood Blessing, nervous that he wasn't getting better and that he'd have to work out in the heat with no energy. He's exhausted when he comes home when he is healthy and he does have energy, and a few times he's come home really dehydrated, and once he came home with heat stroke. Our home teachers gave him a blessing and he's been doing 100 times better since then, and we're very thankful for that. He still tries to whine about it every few minutes but I know he's being a faker now so I don't feel as bad for making fun of him for checking his temperature every 20 minutes.

That's all the updates for now. The only other news was that I turned 100 years old the other day because I went to bed at 8 pm and woke up at 4 am. Who does that?

Drunk on Phenergan

So this has been an eventful week. Wednesday morning I had an awesome case of the barfs. That mixed with the nausea I've been having lately, I've been nothing but fun to be around. Sunday night I went to bed feeling fine, woke up 2 hours later, and promptly threw up the 2 hotdogs I had for dinner. I missed work last week when I was sick and knew I couldn't miss any more work without a Doctors note. Since we are new to Tucson we don't have a Primary Care Physician yet and no Doctor will take a new patient for same day care. We decided to just go to the ER, figure out what was wrong, get a Doctors note, and be on our way. I remember just a few things about our visit to the ER. 1 - I'm not pregnant. 2 - I can taste the IV fluid, and it does not taste good. 3 - Phenergan hurts like a mother effer and makes me incredibly loopy. 4 - My doctor had white/silver hair and a nose ring. The Doctor said I have acid reflux and possibly GERD. She gave me an antacid and some zofran and we were on our way. By the time we got home it was about 5:30 in the morning, I set my alarm for an hour later so I could call my boss. I don't remember my alarm going off, but I do remember Rick waking me up to make sure I was calling my work. For some reason I thought that the phone number for my boss would be on the paper my Doctor gave me. It wasn't, but I searched high and low for that number (that was in my phone - where all my important phone numbers go). I remember yelling at Rick to get me a light (I think I meant turn the light on but we ended up looking for things with a flashlight, not the most effective way) and finally after Rick didn't understand what I was looking for (and neither did I, really) I screamed at him to get out and I threw all the papers on the ground. I finally realized that the phone number I needed was in my phone, and I was able to call my work. I left a message, and I'm hoping and praying it doesn't end up on the Internet somewhere, because I seriously have no idea what I said to her. When I finally woke up (11 hours later) I checked my phone and noticed that I tried to call "06142011" numerous times. Once I saw those numbers I had a flashback of looking for my boss' phone number on the paper and trying to dial the only number that was on the paper, which happened to be the date 06-14-2011. I then had another flashback of the nurse saying to me "this is what it feels like to be reeeeeeeeeaaaaalllllllllyyyy drunk." I was hammered.

I still feel sick after I eat, even though I'm on a bland diet, and if I lay down after I eat I can feel the acid moving up into my throat. I haven't thrown up, though, and the nausea isn't as bad, so overall I'm doing much better. I still feel bad about yelling at Rick and throwing the papers on the ground. I also feel bad that he has a fear of vomit and that seems to be the only thing I do these days. Poor guy.

Today, after weeks of hating my life, I quit my job. So really going to the ER to get a Doctors note was worthless. They said that the Doctors note didn't count (which is not what it says in the Employee Handbook) and that I would be written up (for the second time about something that they failed to explain to me). While I was sitting there I thought to myself "I think I should quit, but we need money" and the thought came into my head "just quit, it'll be okay" so I did. The only time I felt scared was when I realized I'd have to tell Rick. He's been giving me a pep talk almost everyday about why I should just stick with it. I felt like I had disappointed him. When I told him he just said "okay, we'll be fine." And that was it. I've already applied to a few jobs, this time not in the medical field. Luckily Rick is out of training and working regularly now so we should be able to stay afloat, but I would still like a job. I don't think it has hit me yet that I quit. I'm actually shocked that I did. I'm not a quitter. And I have NEVER received any type of warning before now. I have always been a good employee. At my job I felt like I was always being watched so they could wait for me to mess up and then punish me for it. It shook my confidence, but I know I can get back in the game. Today Rick has said to me several times "It's good to have my wife back." Really, that job sucked the soul out of me. It's good to be alive again.

Thankful

I am thankful for water.

I am thankful for laundry soap.

I am thankful for bleach.

I am thankful for clorox wipes.

I am thankful for all these things combined because when I barf everywhere, they make my life a little easier.

I am thankful to live in a place where when I get cold sweats I just need to stand outside.

I am thankful to live in a place where when I get hot sweats we have air conditioning and ceiling fans in every room.

I am thankful that we have the technology available to go to a website, put in our address, and it tells us who our Bishop is, and how to contact him.

I am thankful to be a part of a Church where you can call up people that you have never met before and ask them to assist in giving a blessing, and they will come.

I am thankful that while I was sitting on the kitchen chair, sweating profusely, struggling to breathe, opening my eyes only to see everything slowly going black, and sounds getting quieter and quieter, the minute the blessing started, I could focus.

I am thankful that the second I opened my eyes, the black was gone, the sweating had stopped, and the noises sounded normal.

I am thankful that I did not throw up during the blessing, even though I came close.

I am thankful for my wonderful husband who took the day off to take care of me.

Rick suffers from what is known as Emetophobia. A severe fear/anxiety of vomit. Nobody likes vomit (and if you do you are kind of creepy), but not everyone has the fear of it that he has. And today, I woke up from a nap, and instantly threw up all over the bedroom floor, down the hallway, and bathroom floor. Rick got down on his hands and knees and cleaned up all of my throw up while I sat in the bathtub and sobbed. When he was done, he came to me, washed my hair and back, told me he was so sorry and he wished he could do more. I am thankful for his selflessness and unconditional love.

I am thankful that he went to the store 3 times today to get me medicine and drinks.

I am thankful that we have hardwood floors and tile instead of carpet.

I am thankful for pony tail holders.

I am NOT thankful for food poisoning.