Pity Party

I can say with complete confidence that these last 3 months have been the most difficult months of my 23 years of life. For small reasons, and for big reasons that no one besides me and Rick will ever understand, we have had a trial in every aspect of our lives. Everyday I go over every wrong thing. Homesick, physically sick, no friends, loss of job, loss of confidence, loss of money, not knowing how long Rick will work, not knowing how we will pay the bills, not knowing if we will make it to Utah next week with Rick's schedule, the disappointment in knowing that we were going to start trying to have a baby after our 2 year anniversary but we have to postpone a family until who knows when, and the list goes on and on. Everyday I was starting to feel more and more like this guy.

And then today I woke up and I thought you know what? This is getting old. And just like that, the pity party was over. And I've never been more relieved.

We have a roof over our heads. We have food and water. We have 2 cars that (mostly) work. We have a cute dog that likes to cuddle whenever I'm sad. We have Netflix (seriously, saved my life). We have clothes. We have Air Conditioning. Rick has a job. We have the Church. We have each other. What more could we need?

This whole trying to be humble and "happiness is the journey not the destination" thing is really hard for me, but I think I'm getting the hang of it. I can't hate Arizona. It takes up way too much energy. Arizona is giving us an opportunity to learn and grow that we wouldn't have had living in the comfort of Utah. Arizona is teaching us to rely on each other and the Lord. We needed that extra push. In the next few months, Rick and I will have the opportunity to do something that I've always wanted to do, but never would have had the chance unless we lived here. It's a big grown up thing, and I'm not ready yet to tell everyone what it is, but I am so excited. Now, I feel like this guy.