So I decided that since I'm really good at a lot of things I'm going to write a "How To" book. It will cover every important topic in life such as: how to not lose valuable items like your Ipod, how to clean horchata out of your car, how to stick with one background for your blog and be totally satisfied with it, and the list goes on and on. The book will have more pictures than words. That's how all of my favorite books are. I already have my outfit picked out for when Oprah wants me to come talk about my book on her show.
CHAPTER 4 - HOW TO BE GOOD AT EXERCISING
In this chapter we will focus less on exercise in general and more on running. I recently "ran" a 5k, and I have several tips on how to do it the cool way. And by "cool" I mean "least productive and most painful".
1. Have a support system. My support system for this 5k consisted of my mom, my cousin James, and my little big sister.
2. Flex a lot and do cool poses while you're waiting for everyone else to check in for the race. It shows the competition that you're serious about winning.
3. Pick up members of your support system to show the competition how strong you are.
4. Even though you have a support system, let everyone go at their own pace. This is helpful because there are some people like myself who would rather mostly walk and look at all the flowers, and there are some people like my sister and my cousin who take races seriously and like to finish a 5k in 25 minutes.
5. Find your Ipod. If you can't find it, buy another one. Life is better with music.
6. This one is directed to my sister - If you are listening to your Ipod and someone tries talking to you, take your headphones out. Do not yell at them, because everyone else can hear you too, and it's hard to run when you're laughing.
7. Don't stretch. You can do this either because you forgot like I did or because you know that limping for the next 2 days builds character.
8. Change your shoes last minute to ones you don't normally work out in. Your husband will rub your blistered feet out of the kindness of his heart/because you will cry if he doesn't.
9. Don't stop. This doesn't necessarily mean don't stop running, it just means don't stop moving. And if you do need to stop for a drink of water, slow down before you get to the water station. Sprinting towards water and then stopping suddenly and guzzling a cup of water may or may not make you feel like blacking out.
10. Be grateful for the things you win at the end when they do the drawings. So what if I don't know where my Ipod is and I won an Itunes gift card? It's the fact that I get to decide between Celine Dion's Greatest Hits, Hanson, or Selena that counts. So what if my mom can't ever win anything besides a water bottle? Maybe it's just life's way of telling her to drink more water.
We're just a bunch of champions.
2 comments:
I have been looking for this post every day, twice a day since Monday. As usual I loved it. Now return my camera before it ends up being friends with your lost Ipod.
I've been inspired to "exercise" now. Thanks.
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