On Mormonism

There has been a lot of spotlight on the *Mormon Church recently. No matter what brings the spotlight on, it always creates a battle. I'm not a fan of confrontation, and I usually try to steer clear of any debate or anything controversial, but sometimes you need to stand up for what you believe in and shout it from the rooftops, or in my case, write about it on your blog.

It has been said (by nonmembers/exmembers of the Mormon Church) that Mormons are a racist, sexist, homophobic cult.

I was born and raised in the Mormon Church. I was taught that I could not rely on my friend's and family member's testimonies of this Gospel forever. I needed to find out FOR MYSELF if the Church was true. I needed to read the Book of Mormon, do soul searching, and pray to find out if this was true. On every Mormon Church you will see a sign that says "The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints - VISITORS WELCOME". We have our sacred temples, and before they are dedicated as such, ANYONE can walk through them and see what's inside. We send out Missionaries to knock door to door teaching about our Church. Nobody in our church gets paid for what they do. In fact, the missionaries have to pay to go on missions. Everyone in our church who has a calling or responsibility does it out of their own time and service. Twice a year we have General Conference which can be attended (in Salt Lake City) or listened to on the TV, Radio, and Internet. We don't live in compounds, we live everywhere. We have regular jobs. If we're a cult, then we're doing it wrong.

I married my sweetheart in the Mormon temple. I married him not just because he's handsome and hilarious, but because he treats me like I am the most important person in the world. He opens the door for me, he takes care of me, and is sensitive to my feelings. The other day he woke up grouchy, snapped at me, and I told him he had hurt my feelings. He got upset. I thought he was mad at me, but he said "I'm mad at myself because I never ever want to hurt your feelings." He learned this behavior from his Father, who taught him to respect women, and from the MEN in the Mormon Church who, through Conference Sessions, talk about how valued women are.

If he's a sexist and I'm a racist, then we're doing it wrong.

Now, on what is probably the biggest controversial topic - Homosexuality. In my Mother's lifetime she has been the daughter of an Air Force Chaplain, a Mormon Bishop's wife, a Mother of 6 (having lost 2 babies prior to birth), a substitute Seminary Teacher, a diehard Republican (we're talking Rush Limbaugh t-shirts and Glenn Beck DVDs) and a Chaplain herself. When I was 16, the issue of Homosexuality started to become a war at my school because of a club that was started. I had people I loved on both sides of that fight, and didn't know how I was supposed to feel about it. One day after school I was sitting in the kitchen thinking about this issue. At this point in my life, I was still too cool to talk to my mom about important stuff like this, so I hadn't told her how I was feeling. My mom came into the kitchen, looked me in the eyes and said "Jodi, someday, someone in our family, an aunt, uncle, cousin, niece, nephew, grandchild, or maybe even grandparent, is going to come out and say that they are gay. We are a family, and we love each other no matter what. If someone in our family is gay and you don't love them every bit as much as you did before they came out, then I have failed you as a parent." The things I learned in my High School years weren't learned in High School. I will NEVER forget that.

I do feel that I need to venture deeper into this subject. I understand the Mormon Church's view on Homosexuality and Legalizing Gay Marriage/Civil Unions. I also understand the LGBT (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender) Community's view on it. One of the biggest arguments I've heard about this issue from the LGBT Community is that Legalizing Gay Marriage won't affect the Mormon Church. That is simply not true. Not only does it affect everyone around you (just like my marriage affects everyone around me), if Gay Marriage were legal (lets say in Utah, for arguments sake) then what happens when gay couples want to get married in Mormon Churches or Temples? It will happen, and people will (and already are) fighting for it. Right now it is easy for the Mormon Church to say no to that because Gay Marriage isn't Legal in Utah. But if it is, how do you avoid that? The Church will either say no, and be further accused of being hateful and homophobic, or they will say yes, and be accused of changing their beliefs. It will affect the Church, you cannot tell me that it won't.

Realistically, I know that my children, if not myself, will live to see Gay Marriage/Civil Unions legalized in all 50 states. It's not a matter of if, it's a matter of when, and it is something that, if we let it, will ruin relationships, families, and the already deteriorating unity of our Nation. That is unacceptable. If you hold up a cardboard sign that says "God hates Fags" - shame on you! That is more offensive to me than anything. God does not hate. I was raised to Love My Neighbor. My neighbor is not the person that lives next to me. My neighbor is anyone and everyone that I come in contact with on this journey through life. I try to love all my neighbors - my Jewish neighbors, my Muslim neighbors, my Gay neighbors, my Homophobic neighbors, my neighbors of a different color, creed, religion, and lifestyle. If you vandalize Mormon buildings and burn copies of the Book of Mormon when a bill is rejected to legalize Gay Marriage - shame on you! When something doesn't go your way and I see you trying to burn and vandalize things that mean so much to others, that doesn't prove to me that you have the coping skills and problem solving skills necessary for the issues that come up in Marriage.

I have lived outside of Utah for a year. While I miss my family and friends, I do not miss the constant feeling of having your guard up. If you live in Utah, you generally are either Mormon, or Anti/exmormon. The most antimormon people don't live across the country in a mostly democratic state, they live in Salt Lake City, where the Mormon Church headquarters are. From my experience living outside of Utah, if someone asks me about my beliefs it is because they are curious of my lifestyle. If I was in Utah and someone asked me about my beliefs, it's because they want to start a battle. People accuse the Mormons in Utah of being too uptight. If you felt like you had to defend your beliefs at any given moment, wouldn't you be? From what I've seen so far, the same goes for the LGBT community in Salt Lake and the LGBT community outside of Utah. Same beliefs, different approaches to conversations and different ways of handling naysayers. I don't know about you, but if I were gay and/or antimormon, I would move as far away from Utah as possible.

I will be the first to tell you that Mormons aren't perfect. I am not perfect. I am not even close. I have made many mistakes in my life, but the ones I'm most ashamed of are carelessly and ignorantly throwing out phrases like "that's so gay" or "that's retarded". I can only imagine that somebody has had their feelings hurt because of my careless words. If my words or actions have hurt you, I am sorry.

Now, onto those that dislike the Mormon Church because of it's strong belief in God and Jesus, and their unbelief in God and Jesus. I've seen one too many debates on Facebook about this, and the biggest argument from the Athiest/Agnostic side is that you can't prove that God is real, and "what if" He's not? The belief in God that I have is not something that somebody suggested could be a possibility. It's not something that I think might be true. My belief in God is something that I have, down to the core of my soul, felt to be real. I've known it to be true in times of need. I've felt his love for me. Do you believe that God doesn't exist because you have had a strong overpowering feeling that goes down to your roots telling you that He's not there? Don't take my word for it, if you want to know if God is there, ask him yourself.

What if I'm wrong? What if everything about the Mormon Church is wrong? If I died today, and I got to the other side and was told that I was wrong, I had followed the wrong church my entire life, or even worse, God wasn't real and that there was nothing after life, what would I think? I would have no regrets. I would have lived my life with the knowledge that I was loved by God, and that he had a plan for me. I would have gone through this life relying on that knowledge to get me through hard times. I would have been taught to take care of my body and treat it with respect. I would have lived this life with the knowledge that Family is the most important thing. I would have married Rick with the idea that we needed to save ourselves for marriage, and respect each other in the highest. I would have been taught to help others and serve those in need. At the very worst, If I'm wrong, I will have been raised in this life to be kind to others and be a contributing member of society. I can deal with that.

But what if Mormons aren't wrong? What if they're right? Are you prepared to deal with that?

Something to think about.

*The actual name of the Church is The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. It is more commonly known as the Mormon Church.